He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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