He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
