So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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