Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Randomize
