"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
