i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
