nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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