literally had 100 drinks last night.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
