2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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