Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
if only i could text you this smell
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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