Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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