I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
