it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
