when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
