i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
