How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
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