You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
