Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
