I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
