What did we do last night that was yellow?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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