idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
