Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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