oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I love having hate sex.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize