I want to stick my p in your. b.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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