I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
