I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
pray to the hookup gods
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
