I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
