I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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