She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
