He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
