its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
