Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize