she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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