hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
