I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
