i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i wish my penis had a tongue
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
