I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize