Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
