You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
