i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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