everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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