Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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