dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize