How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
