she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
