I want to stick my p in your. b.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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