somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I don't think brook has ever known best
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
