I'm drive I can fine osifer
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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