white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
sarcasm needs its own font
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
