i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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