Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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