It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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