cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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