his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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