He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize