Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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