Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
this will be a night to untag.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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