so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize