yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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