ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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