i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize