Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
