Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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