as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize