your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just had sex on a roof
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
