did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
