the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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