You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
