I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam đ
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have âdaddy issuesâ. Fuck all of you.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
