Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
pray to the hookup gods
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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